NEMWCL The North-East Mid-Week Cricket League 2024

 
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Adders

The Adders squad is made up of the following players.

   
No Picture Alan Brice
Solid left-handed batsman and reliable scorer, but scared of the ball in the field. Often strategically placed third man to third man which is one of the reasons, together with his passion for bike rides, that he is still one of the more mobile fielders in the team. Alan is a counselor by trade, but recently received treatment himself after a very 'deep' conversation with Andy Bryant and Gary Dixon. His standard therapy includes watching back to back Hollyoaks and Eastenders omnibus, with a little QVC channel thrown into the mix.
 
No Picture Andrew Riley
Fine fielder in the deep and can hit a cricket ball a long way, sometimes. However, Andrew is often like Ameobi on ice and refuses to wear spikes as he has been known to kick and stamp on hecklers making a commotion on the nearby bowling green at Backworth (although it was later found these elderly people were merely playing bowles). He has however, managed to control his temper as of late, by testing some of the experimental drugs from Pfizer and swearing profusely.
 
Andy Bryant Andy Bryant
Quick, opening bowler, with distinctive action. Talks himself up as a batsmen but the Adders are not taking any chances. Generally Andy is just a top bloke, who is not strange in any shape or form. He is also now really thin. Many think it is because he caught aids by watching the film Philadelphia. He is now team selector and captain along with Martin so his place and role in the team is secure.
 
No Picture Chris Cowley
Ex-skipper, another classy left hander with the bat altho' throws and bowls with his right arm. Excellent fielder and is well known to move it the air.
 
Chris Kennelly Chris Kennelly
The former vice skipper. Solid (boring) batsman and sharp in the field. Enjoyed a higher batting average than Andy Bryant once. Chris is not deterred by his ginger hair and has had treatment to try to achieve premature baldness, but has been unsuccessful thus far. His greatest cricketing achievement was hitting a maximum on a 'fun' sized cricket pitch at Percy Main back in his youth.
 
Chris Wilkie Chris Wilkie
Chris is going through one of ‘those’ teacher midlife crisis at a relatively early age. His rugged Harry Potter look and uncouth behaviour make him a favourite with the children at School, but colleagues are hoping he will clean up his act. The former skipper used to think he was an inspirational leader of men, but after leading his team to a relegation dog fight last season and putting himself on gardening leave for the last few weeks of the season, most would disagree. Chris is a talented left handed batsman who scores at a quick rate and is an ideal midweek batsman. He has failed to deliver over the years on a Saturday in the longer form of the game and it is probably too late for him to make his mark. He is also a useful bowler and a great fielder with a safe pair of hands. He is one of the few long-term Adders left in the squad and is a big part of the team.
 
No Picture Daniel Clark
Dan was Pro at Newton CC during the 2009 season, but after an indifferent season which failed to yield a century, this prima-donna left his former employers for Felling for the 2010 season. He is a classy left handed batsman and a fine fielder and useful right arm fast bowler. He has great ability, but critics have questioned his loyalty and contempt shown towards his teammates in numerous leaked telephone conversations. Dan denies these allegations and blames his generic voice and a certain imitator going by the name of Richard Marshall.
 
Don Catley Don Catley
Left arm trundler with over 40 years of experience playing these 8 ball overs fixtures and has taken a few wickets. Now just an occasional batsman, but not for a crisis! Transferred in from BSRA, BMT, AH Accountants and Rowlands CA.
 
No Picture Gary Dixon
Gary has had more retirements than fingers on a ********* left hand, but he is once again playing for the Adders. Although he can’t bowl, bat or catch, Gary is a very useful ground fielder and a great team motivator. He shares a seat on the team coach with Robert Tulip and you can often see the pair laughing and sharing a joke on the cricket pitch. Gary has not let his failed audition on Britain’s got talent or the abandonment of his numerous prior engagements dampen his spirits. He has been engaged to the latest girlfriend for over 2 years, but there are fears he will take over from Eric page if there is ever a new series of Balls of steel given his suspect relationship with Ian Hearn and Andy Stokes and a fascination with Gok Wan. Gary is an integral part of the Adders team.
 
No Picture Ian Younger
After being axed by new Hartley last year, who cleared away some of the deadwood in a bid to rid themselves of mid-table mediocrity, Ian moved to Hebburn to get regular first team action. He is continuing where he left off last season; when bowling he sells his runs at Harrods prices and with the bat in his hand he downgrades to Asda own brand. He has the rather unfortunate tag of being the cricketing Ameobi, where many clubs have become impatient waiting for his fine technique to deliver some runs. As the seasons pass he is destined to be the ‘nearly man’.
 
No Picture Jack Concannon
Due to Jack’s age a photo is prohibited as it was taken by Stephen Hutchinson. Jack has progressed well in the last year and is now a regular run scorer and wicket taker when given the opportunity. He plans to attend the Tyne and Wear cricket tour to Scotland later this year, but there are great fears that he will be initiated into the squad in the usual Hutchy way -He had better sleep with one eye open. Hutchy is such a sexual predator that he was once caught roasting Freddie Kruger and Casper, but no charges were issued and Hutch denies the allegations.
 
Jim Butler Jim Butler
Top bloke despite being a Leeds United supporter. He had a miserable time of it with the bat last season with a collection of ducks that probably would not fit into Leazes Park. However, he has come back strong this year and his score of 4 against Ryton was his first runs for over 3 years (although I could be wrong). He has a safe pair of hands and is only bettered in the field by Chris Wilkie. He has an Adders 5-for to his name so may be considered as a bowling option as a partnership breaker.
 
John Burdon John Burdon
'JB'. Keen as mustard and exemplary team player, especially in the bar. Once got a 5for and retells the story at least once a season. He has a passion for Berwick football club and is often called up as cover, but is yet to make his first team debut.
 
No Picture John Kimber
John is always whinging that he is never getting a decent opportunity and often makes life difficult for the on field captain. He has been accused in the past of firing his own batsman with ridiculous LBW decisions, just so he can get a bat later in the innings. John finds it hard to gel as part of a team, but he has had some fine individual performances and scored useful quick runs down the order. The signing of Gary has had a galvanising effect on John, who seems happier in the team environment. It has also been reported that he has repeated some of Gary’s jokes to the missus as he was that impressed by them.
 
No Picture Joy Saini
Joy is a fine opening bowler and "innovative" batsmen. Hoever, he has a firey temper and once kidney punched his Saturday captain while playing for Backworth because he wanted to place an extra fielder on the on side. The captain later apologised and admitted it was ludicrous to have more than 2 fielders saving the leg side boundary. Joy has matured with age and now just snarls if he sees anyone drifting towards that part of the pitch. Joy has had little reward this season for some fine performances, but the Adders are confident he will take a bag full of wickets soon and score some runs (when given the opportunity). Valuable member of the team.
 
Lalith Welamedage Lalith Welamedage
Our Sri Lankan spinner. Pushes the ball through and spins it outrageously at times. Hard hitter of the ball, especially when the sun is shining. Unfortunately Lal’s best years are long gone and the bookies would have him as the rank outsider in a race with Andy Bryant and Robert Tulip.
 
No Picture Luke Sullivan
Quick bowler. Stops whatever he is doing to watch Goodnight Sweetheart on his TV at work every lunchtime without fail. Seriously.
 
Martin Eve Martin Eve
Martin was former reserve team wicketkeeper and excellent close fielder, but he was propelled to first choice wicketkeeper due to the struggle in his fight against obesity. He is a very innovative batsman who is the modern day Graham Thorpe. He can not only nudge and nurdle the ball into gaps with expert placement, but he has also perfected the paddle mo where the ball is taken from full on middle stump and heaved through midwicket. Martin is now running the show with Andy Bryant so it is just a matter of time before the Adders, a club heaped in tradition, folds due to a mass exodus of players.
 
No Picture Nick Gilroy
Longest serving member of the team. 'Young Nick' was our ferocious opening bowler when Botham was beginning to make his mark. Now makes Harmisons first Ashes delivery look like a good line and length
 
No Picture Paul Dunn
Paul is a polite young man and always has a smile on his face. Some say this is a rye smile as he has prominently played in teams in the lower echelons of the Northumberland and Tyneside leagues. He is a very aggressive batsman who uses his one shot to great aplomb if the ball is pitched in the right area. Paul is a more than useful fielder and a steady pair of hands these days. He is quite reserved and quiet and only gets the opportunity to talk in detail when Gary is not available for selection. Paul is easily appeased and is a dream to have in the squad.
 
No Picture Pete Douglas
Sound team member who fields with enthusiasm and can be relied on for runs (mainly byes) when they are needed. He has put a lot of time and effort into the running of the club and is head of Adders finance so will not offend this fine gentleman in this profile!
 
No Picture Richard Marshall
Richie has been in the batting form of his life in the last couple of years and despite being tagged ‘a pile of shite’ in the bowling department by his club sides, he has produced some fine displays for the Adders in the shorter form of the game. He has settled in well at the Adders after being spurned by The Three Tuns and feels comfortable in his new surroundings. The primitive demeanour, deformities and general incestual behaviour of some of his new teammates have taken the emphasis off his bizarre shaped chin and Martin Clunes ears. He has a very bright future with the Adders and will be looking to contribute with both bat, bowl and in the field.
 
No Picture Robert Tulip
Robert is one of the more placid, mild mannered members of the team. He works well as part of a team and in true Adders spirit he is happy just to participate rather than to take the games too seriously. He is a very attacking opening batsman who will be competing for leading run scorer come the end of the season. His one criticism is that he should show more scoreboard awareness rather than batting in the middle without a care. The Adders wait eagerly to see if he will finish the season with them after getting the ‘unfair’ reputation of being a journeyman.
 
Robin Humphrey Robin Humphrey
Another ex-skip. Old man of the squad and goes by the name of 'Pop'. Bowling and fielding hampered by ageing joints, but has not hung up those spikes hust yet.
 
No Picture Trevor Mavin
Our 'pro'. Accomplished left arm opening bowler (who deserves more wickets than he gets) and devastating batsman when he gets in. Has been an Adder almost as long as Nick and looks like Friar Tuck. Trev struggles to make himself available because of the evil Hartlepool monkey that lives in his closet.
 

 
 LEAGUE NEWS
  Agenda for Meeting Wednesday 17th April
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(Wed 27 March)
  Optimum Sports Cup Draw
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(Wed 27 March)
  Next Full League Meeting now Wednesday 17th April
Download Teams for the Cup Draw Download Umpires Panel Updated
(Tue 19 March)
  Minutes of the AGM
Download AGM Minutes
(Fri 16 February)
  Fixtures and contacts
Download League Fixtures Download Division 2 Contacts Download Division 3 Contacts Download Division 4 Contacts Download Division 1 Contacts
(Wed 14 February)
 
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